David Alex Johansen was a very mediocre and normal person. No, my dear reader, I will not make this article boring for you (have I ever?). Anyways, back to the point . . . mediocre, normal, unassuming and (running out of adjectives here) extremely boring.
For starters, he used to get up every morning at about 8 o’ clock, and make coffee for himself. At exactly 8:15, he would walk out of the house, pick up the paper, check his mail (not email . . . letters . . . written on paper. Have you techno-freaks heard about it?) He would do all this in about five minutes and walk back at exactly 8:20. The guy used to time himself. He likes to have control of everything he does . . . even laughter. Did I ever tell you about the time we were playing poker, and I couldn’t call his bluff even a single time? His poker face is excellent.
By 8:30, he is out of the house and has taken a cab to his office. By exactly 8:39, he has reached his workplace. He was a building contractor. Boring, right?
Well, what do you expect from a guy who times his day?
This story is about an incident that happened to him . . . in the following sequence of events, he found out who he really was . . . what his capabilities were . . .
It all began on a very normal day, where he got up at 8:00, etc etc etc.
Anyways, he went to work, where he started signing some papers on new building projects and collaborations, when something caught his eye. A building project. In China. He’d always wanted to go to China and learn Tai-Chi.
Tai-Chi is an art of peace . . . something he really needed to get away from his stressful life. Most people would want to look for Kung-Fu classes, but not him . . . it is extremely adventurous, you see.
He decided that he should go see the plot in China, and planned his trip.
When he reached China, and looked around, he was in awe- the cultures in the place, it was like an entirely different world. He went to his hotel, where he had booked a room, along with Wifi service and breakfast in bed.
He decided to get into Tai-Chi classes even before he went to the plot, but he couldn’t understand a word those people spoke.
He ended up joining a Kung-Fu class.
He was trained personally by Wu-Shi-Fang, the greatest Kung-Fu master of the world. In a time of three years, ten months, four days, eleven hours and five minutes ( this guy . . . I’m telling you exactly what he told me, right down to the “minutes” part) he had mastered the art of Kung-Fu.
He was then sent on a long quest to the north, where a dragon resided. He was supposed to fight the dragon and earn his respect from China.
He walked a long path, always muttering, “Building contractor . . . pfft . . . I am now a master of Tai Chi.”
The guy clearly didn’t realize, yet, that he had mastered Kung-Fu.
The dragon was 30 feet tall, and that was while it was sitting. Otherwise, it looked like any other dragon. (Do you people know what a dragon looks like?)
He marched right up to the dragon and said, “Say, do you know where the dragon master of Tai Chi is?”
The dragon went mad. He blew fire everywhere and thundered, ” TAI CHI? IMPERTINENT HUMAN! FOR THIS INSULT, YOU SHALL DIE!”
David had absolutely no time to react- the dragon arched his back, ready to burn David Alex Johansen to a crisp—
“David! Alex! Johnny! When you’re done with the Lego, put them back in the box, okay?” Said a lady’s voice.
The three boys shouted in unison, “Okay, ma!”